The Weak Link
by Lee Gal Heap Lawned
Summary: I'm going to Vegas. I'm getting trashed. I'm hooking up with a guy in a bar. I'm going to murder Macey McHenry, Tina Walters, and Cassandra Goode. Then I'm going to cry my eyes out because 3 years of torture gives you a lot of pent up emotions.
1. Chapter 1

**New story! Whooop! Not sure how long it will be, but I'll come up with a length eventually. Rated T for some cussing. Not kidding when I say : "Don't repeat what you just read little kiddies!"**

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><p>I can honestly say that being a pavement artist can help you at times like when your best friends are so determined to find you, they would jump of a cliff. Other times, not so much. Like when the thing you are dreading most (A.K.A being captured by the Circle of Cavan) comes true and they can't find you <em>at all<em>? Yeah, it's good to be back.

See, after I ran away from my school (Gallagher Academy, the one where rich daddies and mommies send their precious baby girls off to school. Not the one where you learn to kill a man with a spoon in 5 different ways or where you can take down your enemies with the latest edition of _CosmoGIRL!_) in search of answers, I realized that my friends were still tracking me down.

Don't get me wrong- I love little Liz, beautiful Bex, mysterious Macey (How does she do it?), murderous Mom, sly Mr. Solomon (So either that was his ghost I saw, I was going crazy or he magically woke up from that killer coma he had when I left), atrocious Aunt Abby (She's not _that_ atrocious, but she totally can be a bitch when she want to), and of course zee zamazing Zach (It was either that or zealous, okay?). They just kept following me. I don't know how (I'm guessing because the adults were teaming up with them) or why. I just wanted answers without anyone getting hurt.

And then, after working all summer long, they stopped. My mom had a school to run and people had school to attend. So at first I was free, but then came winter break. I saw them only one time that first winter break. That time though, it was the gang and some CIA fellows. Like they were desperate to find me.

It broke my heart when my dad's . . . anniversary came and nobody was there to cry with me. It broke my heart when I saw the devastated faces of my friends and family. It broke my heart to not be there for them when they were there for me.

But I didn't want them to be hurt, so I worked alone.

I assume they have moved on. New friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, maybe even a husband or a wife? Kids? (Okay, to be honest this idea is absolutely terrifying, but I have been gone a long, long time.)

I wish I could say that I have moved on too. Five years. Such a long, long time. There's still a place in my heart for Zach, and knowing him, he probably moved on four years ago. It won't hurt my feelings. Not after what I've been through.

As I crawled my into one of the dustiest passageways I have ever seen, I know my friends will hate me. I didn't want to leave them, but I had to for the greater good. So that's why I stole the security tapes of my torture cell.

Well, I should probably back up and explain that first. I was two years into finding answers and I hadn't seen anyone tailing me on the day I was captured. Unfortunately, the next thing I knew I was drugged and passed out. When I woke up I found myself in a dark and damp cell. The lights in it flickered and the walls were just screaming, "People died in here!" Next thing I knew I was beaten to a pulp for questions I had no answers to (Some of them I had answers to, but I didn't tell them that).

My torture lasted for three years straight. I barely got food and water, but it was enough to make me live.

Oh, yeah, two other details I should probably include. One: I kinda blew up the place I was in once I was a safe distance away (This is obviously after I made my escape which is another story for another time). Two: My torturer was (O. M. G. Get this: . . . ) Cassandra Goode.

After some major hacking practice (Either Gallagher upped their firewalls or I am completely out of practice. I only had a small amount of time to learn about hacking from Liz.) I obtained information that Gallagher was having a reunion for the graduating class that I would have been in, in 3 days.

I did some things I wasn't particularly proud of like steal a man's fancy Porsche and his wallet, but I made it there in time.

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><p><em>The halls were empty as I made my way into the room I used to call my home. I locked the door behind me and took a shower getting all the dried blood (and the blood that was still dripping) off me. I took a look at my shoulders and figured they were dislocated judging by the way they were holding up, but as I stole some clothes from somebody's closet, I felt confident in a way that confidence was almost never portrayed.<em>

That was how I _wish _it went. Really, it went a little more like this:

I tripped in the tunnel that barely had any light in it and I felt small jabs of pain going through my whole body, but it wasn't anything I haven't felt before in those past three years, so I walked on. When I got to the entrance of Gallagher via secret tunnel, I wasn't so sure of my plan anymore.

Before I could turn around to leave, I quickly opened the door, grabbed the cute tote I stole from a woman in Florida with the tapes that I converted to DVD's (That guy's car had some really high tech equipment.) and slipped through.

The first thing I noticed were the people. There were tons of people there (Questions to ask Mom later: Was Blackthorne invited too, or did every Gallagher girl just _happen_ to end up with one by there side?, How bad do I like right now?, and Will you pretty please with cherries on top forgive me?) with even more children. Like toddler children.

The second thing I noticed were Liz and Bex. They were standing on the other side of the hallway waiting for someone. Luckily, no one looked twice at the girl in ripped to shreds clothes that were covered in blood.

I slipped some sunglasses on and darted through people (They yelled things like "Hey!" and "Move it!", so I kept my head down) to my two best friends in the world. When I reached them, I covered their mouths with my hands and watched their reactions. Liz's eyes widened and Bex's teeth bit my hand.

"Bex! Ow!" I yelled loudly enough for people to look my way ("This is a costume party?" and "Loser!" floated around the air). I grabbed my hand in pain and shot her a glare. Liz asked, "C-C-Ca-C-Ca-Cam-Cammie?"

I grabbed both of their wrists and whisked them up the stairs as fast as I could to our former room. I opened the door and saw a teenager making out with a guy on one of the beds. The girl looked shocked and then mad when I told them, "You two. Out. Now." They scrambled and ran out of the room as I pulled Bex and Liz into big hugs.

Bex shut the door with her foot and hugged me back- hesitantly, I may add -and Liz hugged me back too. "I always knew you weren't dead," Liz said and that made me burst into tears. Bex patted me on the back.

"Bloody hell, Cammie! It's been five years! Five _years_!" Bex yelled. I only nodded and sat down on the floor while sobbing.

When I stopped blubbering I asked, "Where's Macey?" Liz and Bex gave each other a look that only meant trouble.

"Well Cammie the thing is . . . It's been five years. You have been away for a long time. A looooong time. We don't really talk to Macey anymore," Bex told me.

"What? We've been best friends forever, why not? What happened?" I shrieked.

Liz, being calm and quiet told me, "Macey got married and she didn't ask us to be her bridesmaids. She didn't even invite us to the wedding."

"Why?" I whispered.

"B-be-because she . . . she," and then Liz started to cry.

Bex sat down next to me and said, "She married Jonas. Liz's perfect half. _And_ they have kids."

"But! But! There's no way she would do that! No way, no how, nu-uh. She knew that Liz totally had Jonas. How could she do that? How could _Jonas_ do that? What the hell?"

"Cammie," Bex said sounding very business-like. "She also slept with Grant." She took a deep breath. "And Zach."

I have been in a lot of pain in my three years of torture. I mean, come on, I was walking around with about 15 broken bones at the time. Yes I was in pain those three horrible years, but not even training could save me from how much pain I was in when Bex told me that. So the only thing I thought of doing, was standing up and yelling, "FUCK!"

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><p>I ran towards the Great Hall with Bex and Liz following me, trying to persuade me to stop whatever stupid thing I was about to do. Unfortunately, I had to slow down to open the doors, so Bex grabbed my right arm and Liz got my left. I already had one door open so I slipped through it as Bex and Liz were yelling for me to please don't do whatever I was going to do.<p>

The door slammed behind us as I dragged my best friends into the room. Everyone's heads swiveled towards our performance. I saw my mom at the podium with her jaw wide open. Everyone else looked about as shocked as she did.

"Cammie no! You can't do that!" Liz yelled.

"I am going to kill her!" I screamed as loud as I could.

"Cammie it's not her fault!" Bex told me, though I think she would enjoy watching me kill Macey McHenry (or Macey whatever-Jonas's-last-name-is).

"He's with someone else now anyways!" Liz said. By now the whole room was silent. Bex hissed, "Liz! Not helping!"

"Who?" I asked.

Liz mumbled a name. "What was that Lizzie?" I asked nicely.

"I said Tina Walters," she said a little bit louder.

"Holy. Shit!"

"Cammie? Is that you?" my mom asked from where she was up on a stage that I've never seen before.

I tried to make a waving motion, but it was hard because my arms were behind me and held by two girls.

"Hi mom! A little busy trying to kill someone, so I'll talk to you in a couple of minutes, okay? If you need an explanation of why I was so late, there's a DVD or two that will explain everything in my purse right here!" I made a motion with my head towards the purse on my shoulder. I bet someone would have made a move for it if they weren't so scared of me. The little children looked at me like I was a monster and the people that I grew up with in school looked at me like I was a ghost.

Bex took the one moment I went slack to pick me up and throw me over her shoulder. "Bex! Let me kill her!"

"No Cammie, you have to make a speech!" she told me.

"No! Not a speech! Why the hell do I have to make a fucking speech? Please not a speech! Anything but that! Please! I'm begging you Bex! I won't kill her until tomorrow! I promise! Just put me down! I won't hurt anyone for a full 24 hours! Please no speech!" I yelled but she started walking up the steps to the little podium with the microphone.

My mom stared, took a few steps back and Bex dropped me. I, sadly, wasn't quick enough to land on my feet so my head made a _thump_ noise as it hit the stone. "Ow!" I muttered, but got up anyways.

"Hey guys," I started. There was a murmur of voices when I started to fish around in my purse for the best explanation of why I was gone for so long. I took out the three DVD's that held some pretty gruesome footage and handed them over to my mom. She went over to the laptop that was hooked up to a projector and inserted one of them.

While we were waiting, I started to talk about random stuff. Then a little boy raised his hand shyly. "Yes?" I asked.

"Is it true that you blew up that base in Florida?"

"Is it true that Tina Walters is going to end up dead tomorrow? Yes, I did, and yes, she will." I waited a couple of more seconds.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, here are my last words of the night: Fuck you," I pointed to Macey. "Fuck you," I pointed to Jonas. "Fuck you," I said, pointing to Grant. "You're cool," I pointed to Liz (She grinned). "Fuck you," I said to Tina. "Fuck you the most," I pointed to Zach.

"Now I'm gonna drive to Vegas, cry my eyes out, get trashed, probably hook up with some dude and think of a way to murder Cassandra Goode," I told the crowd. "I'm out!"

Zach happened to yell out, "My mom is dead!"

I narrowed my eyes at him and said, "Since when?"

"Three years ago," he yelled.

I rolled my eyes. "Kids? Don't repeat anything you hear," I said and swiftly turned and walked out. The video began as I closed the doors behind me and you could distinctly hear Mrs. Goode screaming at me to tell her something about my dad.

Then you could hear the gun shots as she shot me in the foot a couple of times. Then you could hear me say, "I must admit that hurt like shit, but you must begin to realize that I am in fact, a Morgan."

She said something that I couldn't quite make out.

"Well I _am_ pretty bad ass," I heard myself say.

Vegas baby.


	2. Chapter 2

**Aha! Next chapter. It isn't as long as the first one, so sorry 'bout that. **

**P.S. I won't be updating until I get at least 6 reviews! That's not a lot when you think about it. And I've already started writing the third chapter, so I'll update the minute I get 6 more reviews! (:**

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><p>I could hear my phone roll over to the answering machine and Bex yell, "Cammie! You will get your ass back at Gallagher right now! Everyone is freaking out!" She took a deep breath and said, "Look, Cammie. Everyone saw what you gave your mom. They are <em>crying<em> for you." She paused again. "We're really sorry, Cam. I'm sorry." And she hung up.

So I ignored it. I didn't want to hear about it (That sounds a little mean, but it's true!). I then got a call from Liz. I let it go too. "Cammie!" Liz bawled. She sounded so pathetic I almost picked up the cell phone to talk to her. _Almost._ "Cammie, I am so sorry!" Then she had a fit of sobs. I wanted to tell her it was okay, I was fine, but I didn't. So she hung up.

Next came a text. From Zach. And I think my heart skipped a beat. _Weird._ I reluctantly read it.

_I'm going to Las Vegas with you._

Bull shit, I thought. There was no way I would ever let him come to Vegas with me. Why would he bother anyways? He was with Tina for God's sake!

_Who said I was going 2 LAS Vegas? I could b going to Los or Les Vegas. _

And so I got a call. From Zach. And I think my heart skipped yet a_nother_ beat. I ignored it.

"Gallagher Girl, I'm worried about you." You could hear Tina in the background talking about how I was actually a Russian KGB agent and they were extremely good at acting so we acted the whole thing out and I've been wearing makeup. I swear I was going to kill her.

She said something else about me being a total bitch with my comment at her, so I picked up the phone and told Zach, "Tell Tina that I can hook her up with someone from the Circle if she wants to see if I was acting or not."

He started to say something but I hung up on him. Zach called me a minute later and I guess finished what he was about to say.

"I was going to tell you that I was sorry and that I never knew," he said. He really did sound sorry, but I still wanted to tell him something to make him feel bad about it. I'm not usually that kind of person, but I was just in a general PMS-type mood (But I swear I wasn't PMS-ing!).

"And that I'm still following you to Las Vegas." I wanted to yell at him to go away. I wanted to yell at him that he doesn't have to worry about me anymore because he was with (Ew!) Tina.

Eventually I called Bex. I was in Chicago and wanted some of Dr. Fibs stuff to make scars vanish like that (In my mind, I'm snapping my fingers).

"Cammie! You ruined the whole damn reunion! It was supposed to be a happy one but noooo! Whenever Cameron Morgan steps on the scene, all hell breaks loose and you make it a mourning reunion. Everyone was talking to _me._ Dammit Cammie! Can't you let anyone besides yourself have the spotlight?" said a voice that was definitely _not _Bex's.

"Tina, where is Bex?" I asked the squeaky, snobby, voice on the other end.

Bex answered this time, "I'm here! I'm fighting this- _Animal!_ Off of me. And my phone. So what do you want Cammie?"

"Who said I wanted something? Maybe I just wanted to talk with you!" A couple of seconds went by and she didn't say anything.

"Okay, okay. Could you do me two things?"

"Only if you tell me where you're going." In the background I heard a clatter of something hitting the floor.

"Jeez, Bex. I said that _I _wanted to kill her. Leave a little for me," I said with a laugh.

Bex didn't think it was funny. "_Liz!_ Get her off of me!"

"Bex? Are you okay? Did you hit your head and forget that you can kick some major ass or did you get crippled in the last five years?" I asked. Anyone who knew Rebecca Baxter knew she was 95% muscle and 5% fashion and makeup. Why the hell couldn't she take down _Tina Walters?_

She grunted out, "Yep! Fine! Just got rid of that little bee-otch!" After a couple of seconds she added, "Oh, no offense Zach."

You could hear him say, "None taken." I sighed, remembering when he was mine and I was his and we were practically a match made in Heaven.

"Cammie? That location, remember?"

"Oh right. Sorry Bex. I'm going to California," I said, hoping that she would believe me.

To my dismay I heard Zach say, "She's lying. She told me she was going to Las Vegas." Damn, he was good. But I was determined to be better.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Goode. I told the whole crowd I was going to Vegas. Why would I tell them where I'm _really_ going? I thought that I was just talking to Bex but I guess I'm not anymore. I'm going to California."

"Okay," Bex said. "What are those favors you needed?"

"First: Tell Tina that she shouldn't fall asleep unless she has an army surrounding her. Second: I need your help,"

"Oh Cammie, when _haven't_ you needed my help?"

I laughed and told her, "When I totally beat you in P&E that day when Grant was watching us. It was hilarious."

"Hmm. Touche. What do you need my help with?"

"It's something only you and Liz need to here."

"Okay . . ."

"Bex!" I yelled.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"That means get everyone out of the room where you are. Or go somewhere private. That means absolutely no boys with you."

"Fine," she grumbled. I heard her and Liz walk to a spot where there wasn't any noise around them.

Liz asked, "Cammie where are you right now?"

"Chicago. If you took a helicopter, could you get here within an hour?"

"Duh!" Bex yelled. I think she liked the prospect of a jet. "Why do you need our help?"

"Um, maybe because you two are the best friends in the whole wide world?"

"Eh . . . I don't know. That doesn't seem like a good enough reason. What do you think Lizzie?" asked Bex.

"I think we are going no matter what." Sweet Liz. Sweet Bex. They are such good friends.

"Yes, I think we are going no matter what. Right, Mr. Goode?" Scratch that. I can't believe I thought they were 'such good friends'.

"Holy. Shit," I said. "I said no boys whatsoever!"

"Ah, but I am now a man!" Zach said. I heard Liz stifle a giggle. Yeah Zachary, you go on thinking that. See what happens to you when I get my hands on you.

"Fine, fine. Whatever. I need medical attention. I can't go anywhere looking like I came out from a horror movie. So Liz, can you pack the usual?"

"Sir yes sir!" I heard Bex yell.

"Thanks _Liz._"

"Anything for you Cam!" I heard Bex yell again.

"Cammie-" I heard Zach start to say something, but I didn't want to hear his voice at that moment.

"Oh look at the time! Well it certainly was nice talking to you all, but I must go. Please hurry over here. I can only sing along with the radio for a short amount of time before they start playing reruns. Ew." I hung up.

Yum, Chicago.


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG! Thanks a ton to you amazing reviewers! 21 reviews and counting! They made my day. (:**

**I don't know if this chapter would be considered funny. You're the judge of it. It's also longer than the first two chapters I wrote. **

**P.S. To be honest, this chapter is kind of a filler.**

**P.S.S. I won't be updating until I get 6 more reviews.  
><strong>

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><p>"Oh my God. I said the usual, Liz. Not a hospital!" I said. Seeing Liz, Bex and (To my dismay) Zach made me feel . . . confident. Then I saw what Liz packed and three years of torture memories came flooding back. It looked like she brought a freaking operating table and things like that.<p>

"Cammie, this is the usual, but technically I brought some things I could use as casts," Liz argued. She was so sweet (Bex- not so much.) and caring.

"I don't really need any casts. I can't feel anything anyways."

We met up in the outskirts of Chicago (How many times do you see a helicopter landing in the public park?) and they unloaded their stuff. I think Bex did some major packing that would last two or three weeks. Zach had a suitcase too (Damn him and his stubbornness).

So they loaded all of the junk into my tiny little trunk (Bex had said, "Nice choice in cars, Cammie.") and they climbed into the car. I drove towards a hotel and Zach booked a room on the top floor. At this point in time, I should point out that only one room does not do me justice. I told Zach it better have more than one bed (He said there was three. I said, "Welcome to the couch life, muchacho.")

I grabbed two of Bex's and Liz's many suitcases and they grabbed the rest. Since I was such a mess, I kept my head down and they sort of blocked the view for the lobby workers.

When we got to the top floor (The elevator decided to stop working that morning so we had to take the stairs!) and got in our room, I dropped the bags and went into one of the rooms. Our hotel 'room' consisted of a kitchen, three small bedrooms, a bathroom and a really, r_eally_ big TV. In the room, I took off my shoes and went back into the small living space with the television.

"Cammie are you ready?" Bex asked.

"Does it matter if I'm ready?"

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><p>30 minutes later and I was close to passing out. Bex had strapped me to a table (It turns out Liz actually did bring an operating table with her.) and I was writhing in pain.<p>

I thought I would be able to handle the pain. I thought wrong.

See, since my bones were broken they had to set them back in place in order for them to heal properly. That was why I was yelling profanities as Bex held my foot in place as Zach pushed the bones back into a more natural position.

"Mother Fucker! I am going to KILL her!" I screamed. Luckily the walls were sound-proof in the room I was in.

"It's okay Cammie. That was almost the last one," Liz told me.

I just nodded my head. Liz was holding my hand and talking positive thoughts as Bex then held my leg where the knee cap was. Zach slowly pushed my knee cap to the right so it would center over my knee.

"Hurry it up, Goode! It hurts! Fix it God dammit!" I screamed at him. I was squeezing the life out of Liz's hand.

"Cammie, you're hurting my hand," she said. I let go of Liz's hand and started pounding on the table. Zach was yelling, "Cammie! Cammie! Stop! I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Oh, concentrate my ass! You're taking an hour to put a stupid knee back on my stupid-" I stopped what I was saying because the pain eased. I looked down and saw that I looked a little bit more normal then I did before we got here.

"See?" Bex said.

"He didn't have to take as long," I mumbled.

"You're finished for now, Cammie. Do you want to take a shower?" Liz asked.

"Liz. I haven't had a shower in three years. I'll have to use an entire bottle of shampoo and conditioner, and a bar of soap just for me to be decent. It'll take weeks for me to be at my former glory," I said. It was totally true to. I wouldn't be surprised if someone barfed up there lunch at the smell (or sight) of me.

Bex went over to one of the suitcases she had packed and started throwing out toiletries. "We brought fortifying, frizz-ease, and moisturizing shampoo and conditioner for you. And a lot of Dove soap. And a razor and some deo. Now please take a shower Cammie," she told me as she put everything in a plastic bag. Liz loosened the restraints and I slipped out of them.

When I tried to stand, something weird happened. It hurt to stand. Yes, it hurt to stand (And it's all Zach's fault!). I started to fall, but Zach caught me (which also resulted in him smirking).

"Damn ankles," I muttered as I stood up. It hurt to stand even more that time. I looked down at my ankles and sighed. There was only one thing you could do at times like these: Crawl.

So I got on all fours (May I add that it hurt to crawl too?), grabbed the bag of shower stuff and crawled into the bathroom where I locked the door.

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><p>After my hour long shower (It was an hour long, I counted.) I hobbled back into my room where Bex told me she had put some clothes in the closet for me. I had a towel around me and my body felt clean. There were still cuts and scars all over my body, but I felt better than ever.<p>

I plopped down on my bed and ran my fingers along the inside of my arm where cuts made by knives were common. With a sigh, I hobbled into the closet (With my towel still on me) and started to grab what I needed: Shirt, bra (Courtesy of Bex and Victoria Secret), panties (No, no, more like thong), and some shorts.

When I turned around to exit the closet someone laid a hand on my shoulder and I let out a scream that would be heard by the deaf.

"Help! Liz! Bex! There's a molester in my closet! He's going to rape me!" I hobbled out of my closet and closed the door behind me before the guy could get out. "Beeeeex!" I screamed but nobody came to help me. I was almost to the door when a hand clamped over my mouth and I couldn't scream anymore.

"Cammie, it's just me!" I heard Zach say behind me. I turned around (Then winced because I hurt my ankle, doing it) and glared at him.

"God Zach! You gave me a fucking heart attack! Why were you in my closet? You're not going to rape me are you? Get out! I have to change! Why a_re_ you in here? No. Wait. Why are you here at all? I mean it totally doesn't make any-" I was rambling until a pair scrumptious (Oh yeah! Take that adjectives! I just used scrumptious!) lips crushed themselves upon mine.

I realized they were Zach's.

I realized I was kissing him back.

I realized I was being a fool.

So I kept kissing him.

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes (I couldn't count time, I was so far gone) until I broke off and whisper yelled at him, "Why the hell did you do that?" He looked shocked at first, but composed himself.

"Cammie the walls are sound-proof, you know," he said.

"Then in that case: Why the hell did you do that?" I yelled (In a much louder voice).

"We need to talk," he answered.

"Well if that's your idea of talking then I suggest you get out if you know what's good for you."

"See, about that . . ."

"Yes?" I asked sweetly after he trailed off. _Why was Zach in my closet?_

"I have to tell you something." _Wow, you're fabulous Captain Obvious._

"I do believe that is the point of talking, Zach." _Oh my God, I bet he _was _going to rape me! _

"Okay, do you want me to tell you?" _Some people just don't get it, do they?_

"Duh," I said exasperated. I hobbled over to the little bedside table and grabbed the glass of water. I took a swig and was swallowing until Zach told me why he was in my closet (Acting like a total rapist).

"I'm marrying Tina."

My water came flying out of my mouth and I coughed, then choked out, "You're WHAT?"

"Well she's ab-" I cut him off by throwing my glass of water at his head. Lucky for him, he ducked and it smashed into a million pieces on the wall right behind him.

"I heard you the FIRST TIME! It's bad enough you have to say it out loud. But WHY? Why, Zach? Oh my God! You know what? Just get out. Get out. Right now. I don't really give a shit anymore. Just walk right out of this room, and if you're decent enough, walk out of my life. Please. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Just get. GO."

He looked hurt. He looked pained. To me though, he looked like a lying, cheating, fucking asshole, who raped girls in there closets. He was a God damn man-whore.

I walked out of my room (I wasn't hobbling, I was walking) and into the kitchen where Bex and Liz were making something that smelled like fish.

I told them, "There has been a change of plans. Instead of crying my eyes before I get to Vegas-" sniffle, "I'm going to cry my eyes out now."

"Cammie are you okay? What happened?" Bex asked.

I turned and pointed to Zach who was sitting in a chair now watching Dora the Explorer (What is wrong with that kid? First he fucking sleeps with the Slut Macey and then he goes off and marries Talking Tina. What the hell is going on in his head? Now he's watching Boots and Dora do the Everyone-Can-Dance dance!).

"Ask him!" I yelled. Then I turned around and went back into my room. I locked the door and found a radio. I turned it up full blast. I put some clothes on. I layed on my bed and cried my eyes out with the radio blaring next to me.

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><p>When I woke up, the radio was still screaming some rap song at me, and my eyes felt puffy (I later found out that they were also very, very red). The clock read 2:33 a.m. but I couldn't fall asleep so I got out of bed and went over to the couch wear the TV was mutely showing Spongebob. The only thing blocking me from that TV was Zach's still-asleep body on the couch, so I did the most reasonable thing and pushed him off.<p>

He made a sound that sounded oddly like "Oofle", but he didn't wake up.

I turned the TV up and felt more tears running down my cheeks as Gary taught Spongebob how to tie his shoes. Oh, how I love this show. Then I heard Zach ask, "Cammie?"

"No you dumb ass, it's your beloved wife, Tina!" I wanted to yell at him. Instead, I rolled my eyes and kept watching Spongebob. Guys can be so dense.

"Cammie I know you're mad at me," he began. I was going to give that son of a bitch the silent treatment.

Oh my God. Son of a bitch. His mom was a total bitch. I started laughing out loud.

"What's so funny?" he asked, confused. Okay, screw the silent treatment I am so going to tell him this.

"You- You are a- You're a son of a bitch!" I said, laughing. He scowled and I said, "You're mom is- she's a-" more laughing, "She's a bitch!" I was hysterical now. "And you're her son!" I started rocking back and forth in my laughter. Then I was full out crying with laughter. Zach looked at me like I was crazy (I bet you ten bucks I was) and I laughed for another minute before I sighed and said, "Well good night. Sorry I pushed you off the couch."

As I walked into the little kitchen for something to eat, I muttered, "So not sorry I pushed you off the couch." I opened the fridge door and grabbed a bottle of Coke. When I closed the door, I saw Zach standing there (I'm starting to think that being a son of a bitch has more perks then not being a son of a bitch. I mean, no one could argue he was hot.).

I jumped back about ten feet and realized I was trapped. The rapist was now going to rape me in the kitchen and there was no way out of it because Zach was blocking the only exit.

"Cammie I think it's time we have a talk," he told me.

"Sorry _dad _I think you're about four years late for the whole sex talk she-bang," I said. To be honest, I never have done . . . that thing but lying can always work to your advantage.

"Cammie. Really. I'm being serious."

"So am I! You have to catch me first if you want to 'talk' to me." Luckily there was an island in the kitchen so catching me should be hard. Zach sighed and mumbled, "Fine."

He started to creep towards the left, so I went to the right. We were across from each other with the island between us.

I ran out of the kitchen as fast as I could with Zach right behind me.

Only five more steps until I'm in my room. Four, three, two, one. I closed the door behind me and locked it. In Zach's face. I threw myself on the bed and wrapped myself in covers, preparing for Zach to open the door (We're spies, we can unlock things like that).

A minute later he was sitting on my bed and I wasn't talking to him. He sat there for five minutes until I couldn't take the silence anymore and popped my head above the covers.

I asked the only question that I wanted to know, "Why?"

He took a deep breath and said, "She's pregnant." _Of course she is. Why else?_

"Well . . . Uh . . . Congrats?" _Tell Tina to go fuck a snail._

"Yeah, thanks." _Having lasers in my eyes would be so cool. _I wriggled out of the plush comforter and looked Zach in the eyes.

He stood up and so did I.

Surprisingly, he hugged me. Hesitantly, I hugged him back. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Yeah, so am I." I grabbed one of the Napotine patches I had hidden in my bra (I know what you're thinking, but it comes in handy when you're hugging a rapist) and slapped it smack-dab on his forehead. His eyes widened and his hands started to reach for it to take it off, but the chemicals were quicker and I caught him as he fell.

"Woops," I muttered.

Now, I've done some pretty bad things in my life, but I don't think anything can beat what I did to Zach after that. You know Sharpies? Those permanent marker doo-dads? Well I just so happened to find some in the drawer of my bedside table.

So I gave Zachary Goode some tattoos. I wrote things like:_ Payback is a bitch _and _I LOVE Justin Bieber_

I hope he got the message that I was pretty pissed at him. To end the night, I dragged Zach out onto the little balcony there and locked the door on my way in. Yeah, payback is a bitch.

So am I._  
><em>


	4. Chapter 4

_EDIT: _**Next chapter coming soon.**

**OMG! Thanks a ton to you amazing reviewers! 21 reviews and counting! They made my day. (:**

**I don't know if this chapter would be considered funny. You're the judge of it. It's also longer than the first two chapters I wrote. **

**P.S. To be honest, this chapter is kind of a filler.**

**P.S.S. I won't be updating until I get 6 more reviews.  
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><p>"Oh my God. I said the usual, Liz. Not a hospital!" I said. Seeing Liz, Bex and (To my dismay) Zach made me feel . . . confident. Then I saw what Liz packed and three years of torture memories came flooding back. It looked like she brought a freaking operating table and things like that.<p>

"Cammie, this is the usual, but technically I brought some things I could use as casts," Liz argued. She was so sweet (Bex- not so much.) and caring.

"I don't really need any casts. I can't feel anything anyways."

We met up in the outskirts of Chicago (How many times do you see a helicopter landing in the public park?) and they unloaded their stuff. I think Bex did some major packing that would last two or three weeks. Zach had a suitcase too (Damn him and his stubbornness).

So they loaded all of the junk into my tiny little trunk (Bex had said, "Nice choice in cars, Cammie.") and they climbed into the car. I drove towards a hotel and Zach booked a room on the top floor. At this point in time, I should point out that only one room does not do me justice. I told Zach it better have more than one bed (He said there was three. I said, "Welcome to the couch life, muchacho.")

I grabbed two of Bex's and Liz's many suitcases and they grabbed the rest. Since I was such a mess, I kept my head down and they sort of blocked the view for the lobby workers.

When we got to the top floor (The elevator decided to stop working that morning so we had to take the stairs!) and got in our room, I dropped the bags and went into one of the rooms. Our hotel 'room' consisted of a kitchen, three small bedrooms, a bathroom and a really, r_eally_ big TV. In the room, I took off my shoes and went back into the small living space with the television.

"Cammie are you ready?" Bex asked.

"Does it matter if I'm ready?"

* * *

><p>30 minutes later and I was close to passing out. Bex had strapped me to a table (It turns out Liz actually did bring an operating table with her.) and I was writhing in pain.<p>

I thought I would be able to handle the pain. I thought wrong.

See, since my bones were broken they had to set them back in place in order for them to heal properly. That was why I was yelling profanities as Bex held my foot in place as Zach pushed the bones back into a more natural position.

"Mother Fucker! I am going to KILL her!" I screamed. Luckily the walls were sound-proof in the room I was in.

"It's okay Cammie. That was almost the last one," Liz told me.

I just nodded my head. Liz was holding my hand and talking positive thoughts as Bex then held my leg where the knee cap was. Zach slowly pushed my knee cap to the right so it would center over my knee.

"Hurry it up, Goode! It hurts! Fix it God dammit!" I screamed at him. I was squeezing the life out of Liz's hand.

"Cammie, you're hurting my hand," she said. I let go of Liz's hand and started pounding on the table. Zach was yelling, "Cammie! Cammie! Stop! I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Oh, concentrate my ass! You're taking an hour to put a stupid knee back on my stupid-" I stopped what I was saying because the pain eased. I looked down and saw that I looked a little bit more normal then I did before we got here.

"See?" Bex said.

"He didn't have to take as long," I mumbled.

"You're finished for now, Cammie. Do you want to take a shower?" Liz asked.

"Liz. I haven't had a shower in three years. I'll have to use an entire bottle of shampoo and conditioner, and a bar of soap just for me to be decent. It'll take weeks for me to be at my former glory," I said. It was totally true to. I wouldn't be surprised if someone barfed up there lunch at the smell (or sight) of me.

Bex went over to one of the suitcases she had packed and started throwing out toiletries. "We brought fortifying, frizz-ease, and moisturizing shampoo and conditioner for you. And a lot of Dove soap. And a razor and some deo. Now please take a shower Cammie," she told me as she put everything in a plastic bag. Liz loosened the restraints and I slipped out of them.

When I tried to stand, something weird happened. It hurt to stand. Yes, it hurt to stand (And it's all Zach's fault!). I started to fall, but Zach caught me (which also resulted in him smirking).

"Damn ankles," I muttered as I stood up. It hurt to stand even more that time. I looked down at my ankles and sighed. There was only one thing you could do at times like these: Crawl.

So I got on all fours (May I add that it hurt to crawl too?), grabbed the bag of shower stuff and crawled into the bathroom where I locked the door.

* * *

><p>After my hour long shower (It was an hour long, I counted.) I hobbled back into my room where Bex told me she had put some clothes in the closet for me. I had a towel around me and my body felt clean. There were still cuts and scars all over my body, but I felt better than ever.<p>

I plopped down on my bed and ran my fingers along the inside of my arm where cuts made by knives were common. With a sigh, I hobbled into the closet (With my towel still on me) and started to grab what I needed: Shirt, bra (Courtesy of Bex and Victoria Secret), panties (No, no, more like thong), and some shorts.

When I turned around to exit the closet someone laid a hand on my shoulder and I let out a scream that would be heard by the deaf.

"Help! Liz! Bex! There's a molester in my closet! He's going to rape me!" I hobbled out of my closet and closed the door behind me before the guy could get out. "Beeeeex!" I screamed but nobody came to help me. I was almost to the door when a hand clamped over my mouth and I couldn't scream anymore.

"Cammie, it's just me!" I heard Zach say behind me. I turned around (Then winced because I hurt my ankle, doing it) and glared at him.

"God Zach! You gave me a fucking heart attack! Why were you in my closet? You're not going to rape me are you? Get out! I have to change! Why a_re_ you in here? No. Wait. Why are you here at all? I mean it totally doesn't make any-" I was rambling until a pair scrumptious (Oh yeah! Take that adjectives! I just used scrumptious!) lips crushed themselves upon mine.

I realized they were Zach's.

I realized I was kissing him back.

I realized I was being a fool.

So I kept kissing him.

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes (I couldn't count time, I was so far gone) until I broke off and whisper yelled at him, "Why the hell did you do that?" He looked shocked at first, but composed himself.

"Cammie the walls are sound-proof, you know," he said.

"Then in that case: Why the hell did you do that?" I yelled (In a much louder voice).

"We need to talk," he answered.

"Well if that's your idea of talking then I suggest you get out if you know what's good for you."

"See, about that . . ."

"Yes?" I asked sweetly after he trailed off. _Why was Zach in my closet?_

"I have to tell you something." _Wow, you're fabulous Captain Obvious._

"I do believe that is the point of talking, Zach." _Oh my God, I bet he _was _going to rape me! _

"Okay, do you want me to tell you?" _Some people just don't get it, do they?_

"Duh," I said exasperated. I hobbled over to the little bedside table and grabbed the glass of water. I took a swig and was swallowing until Zach told me why he was in my closet (Acting like a total rapist).

"I'm marrying Tina."

My water came flying out of my mouth and I coughed, then choked out, "You're WHAT?"

"Well she's ab-" I cut him off by throwing my glass of water at his head. Lucky for him, he ducked and it smashed into a million pieces on the wall right behind him.

"I heard you the FIRST TIME! It's bad enough you have to say it out loud. But WHY? Why, Zach? Oh my God! You know what? Just get out. Get out. Right now. I don't really give a shit anymore. Just walk right out of this room, and if you're decent enough, walk out of my life. Please. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Just get. GO."

He looked hurt. He looked pained. To me though, he looked like a lying, cheating, fucking asshole, who raped girls in there closets. He was a God damn man-whore.

I walked out of my room (I wasn't hobbling, I was walking) and into the kitchen where Bex and Liz were making something that smelled like fish.

I told them, "There has been a change of plans. Instead of crying my eyes before I get to Vegas-" sniffle, "I'm going to cry my eyes out now."

"Cammie are you okay? What happened?" Bex asked.

I turned and pointed to Zach who was sitting in a chair now watching Dora the Explorer (What is wrong with that kid? First he fucking sleeps with the Slut Macey and then he goes off and marries Talking Tina. What the hell is going on in his head? Now he's watching Boots and Dora do the Everyone-Can-Dance dance!).

"Ask him!" I yelled. Then I turned around and went back into my room. I locked the door and found a radio. I turned it up full blast. I put some clothes on. I layed on my bed and cried my eyes out with the radio blaring next to me.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, the radio was still screaming some rap song at me, and my eyes felt puffy (I later found out that they were also very, very red). The clock read 2:33 a.m. but I couldn't fall asleep so I got out of bed and went over to the couch wear the TV was mutely showing Spongebob. The only thing blocking me from that TV was Zach's still-asleep body on the couch, so I did the most reasonable thing and pushed him off.<p>

He made a sound that sounded oddly like "Oofle", but he didn't wake up.

I turned the TV up and felt more tears running down my cheeks as Gary taught Spongebob how to tie his shoes. Oh, how I love this show. Then I heard Zach ask, "Cammie?"

"No you dumb ass, it's your beloved wife, Tina!" I wanted to yell at him. Instead, I rolled my eyes and kept watching Spongebob. Guys can be so dense.

"Cammie I know you're mad at me," he began. I was going to give that son of a bitch the silent treatment.

Oh my God. Son of a bitch. His mom was a total bitch. I started laughing out loud.

"What's so funny?" he asked, confused. Okay, screw the silent treatment I am so going to tell him this.

"You- You are a- You're a son of a bitch!" I said, laughing. He scowled and I said, "You're mom is- she's a-" more laughing, "She's a bitch!" I was hysterical now. "And you're her son!" I started rocking back and forth in my laughter. Then I was full out crying with laughter. Zach looked at me like I was crazy (I bet you ten bucks I was) and I laughed for another minute before I sighed and said, "Well good night. Sorry I pushed you off the couch."

As I walked into the little kitchen for something to eat, I muttered, "So not sorry I pushed you off the couch." I opened the fridge door and grabbed a bottle of Coke. When I closed the door, I saw Zach standing there (I'm starting to think that being a son of a bitch has more perks then not being a son of a bitch. I mean, no one could argue he was hot.).

I jumped back about ten feet and realized I was trapped. The rapist was now going to rape me in the kitchen and there was no way out of it because Zach was blocking the only exit.

"Cammie I think it's time we have a talk," he told me.

"Sorry _dad _I think you're about four years late for the whole sex talk she-bang," I said. To be honest, I never have done . . . that thing but lying can always work to your advantage.

"Cammie. Really. I'm being serious."

"So am I! You have to catch me first if you want to 'talk' to me." Luckily there was an island in the kitchen so catching me should be hard. Zach sighed and mumbled, "Fine."

He started to creep towards the left, so I went to the right. We were across from each other with the island between us.

I ran out of the kitchen as fast as I could with Zach right behind me.

Only five more steps until I'm in my room. Four, three, two, one. I closed the door behind me and locked it. In Zach's face. I threw myself on the bed and wrapped myself in covers, preparing for Zach to open the door (We're spies, we can unlock things like that).

A minute later he was sitting on my bed and I wasn't talking to him. He sat there for five minutes until I couldn't take the silence anymore and popped my head above the covers.

I asked the only question that I wanted to know, "Why?"

He took a deep breath and said, "She's pregnant." _Of course she is. Why else?_

"Well . . . Uh . . . Congrats?" _Tell Tina to go fuck a snail._

"Yeah, thanks." _Having lasers in my eyes would be so cool. _I wriggled out of the plush comforter and looked Zach in the eyes.

He stood up and so did I.

Surprisingly, he hugged me. Hesitantly, I hugged him back. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Yeah, so am I." I grabbed one of the Napotine patches I had hidden in my bra (I know what you're thinking, but it comes in handy when you're hugging a rapist) and slapped it smack-dab on his forehead. His eyes widened and his hands started to reach for it to take it off, but the chemicals were quicker and I caught him as he fell.

"Woops," I muttered.

Now, I've done some pretty bad things in my life, but I don't think anything can beat what I did to Zach after that. You know Sharpies? Those permanent marker doo-dads? Well I just so happened to find some in the drawer of my bedside table.

So I gave Zachary Goode some tattoos. I wrote things like:_ Payback is a bitch _and _I LOVE Justin Bieber_

I hope he got the message that I was pretty pissed at him. To end the night, I dragged Zach out onto the little balcony there and locked the door on my way in. Yeah, payback is a bitch.

So am I._  
><em>


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